If you clicked on this article you are most likely a long-suffering fan of the Calgary Flames or know someone who has just been through a lot in the last few years by supporting the team.
You have seen the Flames go from a potential Stanley Cup contender to losing most of its star players quickly. Then, you have to watch your team miss the playoffs for two straight seasons, before now having to sit through what will likely be the most painful Stanley Cup Final in Flames history.
You’ve seen a lot of news about how the Edmonton Oilers are now “Canada’s Team” and so The Win Column has developed this guide for how you, a diehard Flames fan, can take the proper steps to ensure you are properly prepared to root for the Oilers.
Step 1: Check for head trauma
The first thing you have to do is first check if you have been subject to any recent head trauma. Ask a close friend to take these six steps to determine if you’ve suffered any severe head injuries recently:
- Ask your friends to observe your behaviour to look for any swelling, confusion, disorientation, or loss of consciousness
- Ask your friends to do a physical exam to see if there are any bumps or bruises around your head
- Ask someone to perform a neurological assessment to check pupil sizes and reaction to lights, a test of strength, and a balance test
- Have them ask you questions about the symptoms that you are feeling, like wanting to potentially root for the Oilers
- Ask a medical professional for specific imaging services
- Ask a close friend to keep a close eye on you to see if you exhibit any other strange symptoms like seeking out Oilers content.
If no further signs exist, move on to step number two.
Step 2: Check for signs of the Imperius Curse
In some extreme cases, you may have a close friend or coworker who has also been a long-suffering fan of the Edmonton Oilers who now has some bragging rights in your relationship. They may have found a way to convince you that rooting for the Oilers is a way to root for your friendship. This is a lie and your friend has put the Imperius Curse on you.
When cast successfully, the curse placed the victim completely under the caster’s control, making the victim unquestionably obedient to the caster. Therefore, you do not want to root for the Oilers it is simply the caster of the curse that has made you think this. Please reach out to your nearest auror if you think this has happened to you.
Step 3: Take a good long look in the mirror
It has not been easy to be a Flames fan the last few years, but you’re better than this. The night is dark just before the dawn, and the dawn is coming. Yes, it would be great for the Stanley Cup to be back in Canada, but only when it’s being rolled down The Red Mile.
You can hold out hope for just a little bit longer.
Photo by Curtis Comeau/Icon Sportswire
