The Calgary Flames have been enjoying a moderate run of success to kick off Geoff Ward’s career as an (interim) National Hockey League coach. Perhaps it’s no longer playing for a coach who recently resigned in light of his racist and abusive actions, but it’s just as possible that they enjoy taking turns being the DJ at practices.
However, some of the choices that players have made have been questionable at best. It’s not just about taste, as everyone is allowed to enjoy whatever they want for music. It’s questionable in a practical sense, as very few of those songs have that motivational spark the same as a good gym playlist should, similar to when you need to study and play some lo-fi chill beats.
With that being said, what songs should the Flames be playing at practice? Glad you asked. Here is a song for each Flame* that should help inspire them to continue this recent hot streak.
*Each Flame with ten games played. You have to have more than a cup of coffee in the big league to get your own song.
#4 – Rasmus Andersson
On his debut album in 1994, Nas released what is regarded as one of the greatest hip-hop songs of all time. As a young gun with the Flames, it is now Rasmus Andersson‘s time to realize that his potential is limitless, and the world (and the future top spot on the Flames’ defense) is his.
#5 – Mark Giordano
Since L.A. was already in town last weekend, we don’t need to remind Mark Giordano to Superman That Hoe so instead, we’ll go with some more traditional advice. Giordano is constantly Mr. Everything on the Flames back end, but he can’t be Young and Fresh forever (…right?). With the supporting cast he’s got, he can afford to take a load off so keep him energized for the rest of the campaign. Not too much though, because hoo boy is there ever a reason he’s still number one right now.
#7 – T.J. Brodie
The last six months have not been kind to T.J. Brodie. He was as close to being traded in the offseason without being traded as one could be, he’s had some untimely gaffes like the Heritage Classic, and he had a terrifying health scare with last month’s episode. However, it’s time for Brodie to shine, as he has in Calgary. As LL Cool J a.k.a. Ladies Love Cool James a.k.a. James Todd Smith said: he’s been here for years. Don’t call it a comeback.
#10 – Derek Ryan
Derek Ryan is one of the players on the Flames who does the heavy lifting and gets the most out of players. He helped bring Mangiapane up to NHL speed. He’s helping Gaudreau get out of his funk. He got Lucic his first goal as a Flame. It even says in the song “Once you find your centre, you are sure to win”. Derek Ryan is that centre.
#11 – Mikael Backlund
This season hasn’t seen the points come in bunches for Mikael Backlund, but he’s still an integral part of this team and absolutely part of the core moving forward. It wasn’t long ago that folks were suggesting he could be replaced by Jankowski, and now that’s comical. Someone needs to tell Backlund that he’s beautiful, and it might as well be James Blunt (and me).
#13 – Johnny Gaudreau
Remember when select Flames’ journalists were writing articles about trading Johnny Gaudreau? Do you remember how awful that time in our lives was? Since Ward took over and brought the fun back, Gaudreau has been feeling it. The rest of the league should take note. Gaudreau is absolutely about to get it on.
#16 – Tobias Rieder
Tobias Rieder really should listen to this song before every game, and think about scoring just one more time. If he just keeps plugging away, getting one goal after another, pretty soon he’ll have about eight to ten more goals. Do you know what happens if Rieder scores about eight to ten more goals? Playoffs, baby. Just gotta score one more time first.
#17 – Milan Lucic
Milan Lucic has endeared himself to a surprisingly large contingent in Calgary by playing his game, but he needs to keep giving literally everything he’s got throughout his time with the Flames, or else it wouldn’t be surprising to see fans turn on him. Scoring in back-to-back games doesn’t hurt.
#19 – Matthew Tkachuk
Matthew Tkachuk‘s legacy precedes him. He makes friends everywhere he goes. He pulls off goal-of-the-year candidates in high-pressure situations like he doesn’t care. And yet somehow he isn’t the most beloved player in the league? Even fans were ready to turn on him over the contract dispute and his slow start. Matthew Tkachuk absolutely rules. I hope he keeps staying true to himself forever.
#23 – Sean Monahan
Similar to Gaudreau, Sean Monahan‘s biggest priority should be rediscovering his mojo. He’s been showing that under Ward, as he’s currently on a six-game point streak. That 13-game goalless streak? Shake it off. (Also, as a fun bonus, Monahan looks like he’s shaking dice every time he scores, so it’s also just a fun call for more goals)
#24 – Travis Hamonic
Travis Hamonic is a good player, a great teammate, and an even better person. If Hamonic needed anything, it would be a new body to withstand everything he puts his through. Never one to shy away from a big block or an opposing player, it would be a blessing if Hamonic was as good as new. (Also, that part about finding somewhere to belong? That place is Calgary. Please re-sign here Travis.)
#26 – Michael Stone
Like Hamilton, Michael Stone‘s most relevant days are behind him. However, his shot is absolutely his best asset, so it’s time he utilized it approximately 20 times more and stopped throwing away his shot.
#28 – Elias Lindholm
Elias Lindholm has been a revelation since he came over from the Carolina Hurricanes. He’s been fun to watch on the ice, and Walking With Elias has become a staple over the last two seasons. What would be great to see from even more is some absolute swagger, bordering on being nasty. He needs to internalize the feeling he had when he did a solo Storm Surge last year in Carolina, and unleash it on the ice every night. He’s the……bomb.
#29 – Dillon Dube
The Dudes are hometown heroes. Dillon Dube is on his way to becoming one too (Cochrane is close enough). This city wants him to rock out until he’s old and grey, they’re ready for him to dance into our hearts. Tear it up, Dube. Tear the whole damn league up.
#33 – David Rittich
Have you seen David Rittich play this season? Big Save Dave is the Flames’ Most Valuable Player, and hopefully, he knows it instead of worrying about being Terrible Terrible Dave.
#39 – Cam Talbot
Yes, Cam Talbot hasn’t played ten games so he shouldn’t appear on this list, but he has dressed for them and it’s nice to see Rittich treated like a #1 goalie. Anyway, Talbot should work on just being a great pal and goalie partner to Rittich. What do you think Rittich learned from Mike Smith? Probably just how to overhandle the puck and throw temper tantrums. When the Flames skaters act like there is nothing to do, the Flames goalies have got to stick together and see things through.
#55 – Noah Hanifin
Brought over in a trade where it was expected he would replace Dougie Hamilton, Noah Hanifin hasn’t been bad per se, but there remains hope that there is a next level with Hanifin that would provide more from the back end. With a little more consistency and a lot more offense, it would be great to see Hanifin have more fun in his time here. Maybe he can find his own thing similar to the Dougiebomb, but honestly, if he just started contributing on the scoresheet more it doesn’t really matter how else he endears himself to Calgary.
#58 – Oliver Kylington
Oliver Kylington has perpetually existed with the Calgary Flames, despite promising results in his career. Will he be scratched next game? Will he be sent down to the Stockton Heat? Just as Dolly sings, ” You would think that I would deserve a fat promotion, want to move ahead but the boss won’t seem to let me.” Kylington needs to keep filling that cup of ambition and work his way into becoming a regular for the Flames.
#67 – Michael Frolik
We all know these are likely the final days of seeing Michael Frolik rocking the Flaming C, which is a shame because he’s been one of the most dependable and versatile parts of the Flames over the course of his contract. He’s been Brad Treliving’s best signing when it comes to NHL free agents, which is no small feat! Still, he’s still a Calgary Flame, and regardless of how he’s treated until the very end, here’s hoping he gives us everything he’s got and goes off in a blaze of glory.
#77 – Mark Jankowski
Very simply, Mark Jankowski needs to elevate his game (and perhaps his shot). Yes, it’s great that he was finally on the ice for a goal last night. It would have been better if last night wasn’t game 32. Also, playlists are just better when they include the Into The Spiderverse soundtrack.
#88 – Andrew Mangiapane
It would have been fun to select Apache by The Sugarhill Gang as Andrew Mangiapane‘s chance is now and he needs to jump on it, but the Flames have had enough problems with racism this season. So instead, let’s keep it simple. Get that bread.
#93 – Sam Bennett
Sam Bennett‘s biggest problem is identified in the title of this song – he will maybe give it to ya. He’s as mercurial as most mashups tend to be. He needs to take the best parts of his game and mashup those up to become an absolute banger.
A winning strategy
As long as the Flames play this playlist, it would not be a surprise to see them never lose again. It’s simply tailored to the players in ways that Tiny Dancer and Radio Ga Ga aren’t. If they play anything else, then they’ve chosen their path and we are absolved of any responsibility.
Do you think there are any major songs missing from this playlist? Let us know below or tell us on social media. In the meantime, please enjoy the Calgary Flames ultimate playlist on YouTube below or on Spotify.
